This is my page of Splatter movie reviews, where I review my gory, twisted and sick collection! Most of these are horrors, but a few are crime thrillers or other cult things, plus I have hunted down a few really obscure ones too (Lorna The Exorcist anyone?). I only got into splatter collecting around September 2004, so obviously the collection only amounts to about 100 so far (er…). My rating system for the overall rating is a rather restricted 'out of five'. Also I am determined to rate these based on how much they entertained me, and not base it on 'cult status' or who appears in them, if that pisses off fans of certain actors/movies, well, tough shit! I keep these reviews short, because it means you can quickly browse the pages, and I always give up if I'm writing something long. Finally I have added in extra ratings (out of 10 this time) for various elements of the movie you may be interested in, the Classic Cars and Rock n Roll ones are a little hard to quantify, so roll with it. Plus the Zombies one is based on the TYPE of zombies, not the amount, I wrote an LJ entry describing my ratings once. Maybe.

Ones with a GREY background are not owned by me, but I have seen them XD

YELLOW background ones are ones I have seen but don't own (yet?), such as in the Cinema

NAME

DESCRIPTION

1-5

A History Of Violence

A guy foils a robbery at his restaurant, by fighting and killing the two robbers. Some people from the Mafia assume he is their old hitman that vanished, of course that cant be true, he's such a nice family man. Or is he?

Sex: 6 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

4

A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell

Avoid like the plague! Worst movie ever!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

0!

Abducted By The Daleks

Reportedly 5 years in the making (4½ of those where probably so the actresses could learn English). This has non-existent production values, cardboard sets, cheap CGI and muffled dialogue at the best of times, the main characters lose their clothes within minutes of the start too XD. Though to be honest this isn't really as funny as you might think, for bragging rights only.

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 0 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

2

Alien Blood

Woman and daughter wander around some hills while odd music plays, see a Ford Anglia, end up at a house full of people pretending to be vampires, which comes under siege from corrupt government agents, shootout ensues, with some decent gore

Sex: 6 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

3

American Nightmare

Not watched it yet

N/A

Basket Case

A guy carries his deformed and insane separated Siamese twin around in a basket, extracting revenge on the doctors that separated them with extreme savagery! But things get complicated when he falls in love. Well-made but a bit silly.

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

4

Beyond Re-animator

Not watched it yet

N/A

Blood On Satan's Claw

A grim tale of Satanism set in the past, a farmer ploughs up some mysterious, devilish remains, which disappear. Soon the village children begin to act strangely, eventually committing human sacrifice, while others start to get strange furry growths appearing on them, it builds up to a ...pretty disappointing finale, actually.

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

4

Buried Alive

Some actually scary moments, a woman in a "mental hospital", which is surprisingly easy going, 'hallucinates' about someone walled up in the basement, is the administration hiding an evil secret? One of the better ones I own

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 3 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

4

Butchered

A bunch of annoying, very attractive, teenagers desperate to get into some club or other spend the night in a "haunted house" as a dare, only to find it is inhabited by a psychopathic killer! Some nice gore, but pissing annoying accents

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

2

Cannibal Apocalypse

This is a strange cross of Cannibal and Zombie films, a guy in Vietnam becomes "infected" by extremely violent urges to eat people, after being bitten by one of his squad who had presumably been driven insane by imprisonment by the Viet Cong. He comes back to America, and infects a few more people, and frees his old war buddies. Soon all hell breaks loose!

Sex: 4 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 6 | Zombies: 0

3

Cannibal Ferox

A brutal gore classic, Some people go into the jungle to prove cannibals don't exist. They are wrong. They meet a guy they reckon is a victim of a cannibal tribe, but is he telling the truth?

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 8 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

4

Cannibal Holocaust

The legendary and notorious cannibal shocker, known as "The one that goes all the way!" It features some of the most shocking and realistic scenes of dismemberment and cannibalism you will ever see! in fact its so realistic that upon its release rumours circulated that it was a real snuff movie, a must-have addition to any collection. Just avoid 'uncut' (they aren't) UK versions

Sex: 8 | Drugs: 5 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 10 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

5

Chopping Mall

Not watched it yet

N/A

Christine

Not watched it yet

N/A

City Of The Living Dead

A satanic curse affects a town, as the doorway to hell opens! The dead rise, but are they normal zombies? They behave like ghosts, also they can possess people and make them kill, or throw up their internal organs. Along with some other general satanic occurrences, like a million maggots flying through a window. Bizarre ending

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 7

2

Class Of 1999 2

Not watched it yet

N/A

Creep

A woman gets locked in the London Underground and is pursued by a deformed freak thing, which kills everybody she runs across, lots of cool locations like some 'secret lab', and closed-down WW2 stations with the old underground logo on the walls.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 5 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

3

Cutting Moments

A series of short films, some are utter shite, others are just crap. The first one, "Crack Dog", is the standout, Turn off after that one finishes

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 10 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

1

Dark Power

Where it not for the tits and racism, this would be regarded as a children's movie, incredibly cheesy dialogue, not very much gore and ridiculous slapstick, and that's before the zombies attack!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 3| Gore: 3| Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 2

2

Darkness Falls

Scary fictional entities that come in the night: Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, Witches. NOT the tooth fairy! That said it is a unique idea, pity its executed in the same "sudden, ugly deformed creature leaping out of the shadows with a high pitched scream" that is done better in many other movies. It will make you jump now and then though, and the effects look good.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 2| Gore: 1| Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

3

Daughters Of Darkness

A pretty wacky vampire movie about this woman who goes to eastern Europe to find out... something or other, and somehow gets involved with vampires, they have things on their tongues instead of fangs, and can't go in the sun

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

2

Dawn Of The Dead

The zombies are slowly taking over the world, as a bunch of people escaping the nightmare take refuge in an abandoned shopping centre. But the dead are at the door, and outside even more sinister forces await. This is a true classic that ever splatter fan should see!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 9

5

Dawn Of The Dead

A modern re-imagining of the original, this time the zombies can run, and there are many more people hiding in the mall, who are mainly only there to be splatted. There are more shocks in this one, as the zombies are faster, and its pretty enjoyable, but nothing compared to the first, I think I'm in the "They should have called it something else" camp

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 7

4

Dawn Of The Living Dead

Don't hijack a good movie's title to promote your crappy movie! Good gore, some tits, shit CG

Sex: 6 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 6

2

Day Of The Dead

Some scientists and soldiers have taken refuge in a military bunker, in a world where the zombies rule. There they... frustratingly argue a lot and wander about a bit doing nothing. Then the zombies get in and there is a great massacre. It's not really that good, but if you wanna see the whole Romero "dead trilogy", add this one.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 10

3

Day Of The Dead 2

It has some slow bits, and they are VERY slow, but mostly this is just zombies rampaging around corridors in a hospital/mental home fighting soldiers and armed guards. The storyline and characters are forgettable (something to do with the usual alien virus and secret government experiment gone wrong), just enjoy the action. Some effects are a bit hit and miss (some shootings look like people are being shot with gravy from water pistols XD)

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 3 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 10

3

Dead Awake

Cool crime thriller with some ludicrously sexy women (one of them is named Kick Birmingham... sounds like some under-11's football team), a plot full of twists and turns, and a little bit of the supernatural in there too. A real diamond in the rough, cost me less than a quid too!

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

5

Deathwatch

Its Event Horizon... In 1916! Some world war 1 "Tommies" stumble across a German trench where mysterious and evil events happen... it never really gets going, and it builds up to some serious scares that never actually arrive. Not as bad as many people say though, the end is "ambiguous", and yet completely obvious at the same time.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

3

Demon House

Very very very very very stupid! Tries to be a horror to start with, by the end they where obviously playing it for laughs

Sex: 7 | Drugs: 4 | Rock 'n Roll: 6 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: an unprecedented 0.5

2

Demonium

Andreas Schnaas makes a "big" budget movie at last! A deformed killer, exploding guts, mutilation by axes, chainsaws and a crossbow...Splatter fun for all the family!

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

4

Dr Tarr's Torture Dungeon

Didn't watch it all yet

N/A

Driller Killer

The cover is iconic, the movie is terrible! You can hardly see what's going on!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 4 | Rock 'n Roll: 8 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

1

Eaten Alive

My first Cannibal movie, a woman is trapped between a death-cult that believes in human sacrifice, and the cannibal-filled jungle!

Sex: 7 | Drugs: 4 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

3

Exorcist - The Beginning

Not watched it yet

N/A

Exhumed

Anthology tale of zombies from the creators of Meat Market, the first one is set in ancient Japan, the second one in 40's America, and the third one in a post apocalyptic wasteland with warring gangs of vampire Mods and zombie Rockers XD. The 40's one is the best, with a convincing atmosphere, you could really believe it was made in that time.

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 4

3

Expulsion Of The Devil

The usual story of a young teen girl's presence in a house causing poltergeist activity and strange events. A film crew come to the house to make a documentary about it, which means some sections are in 'first person' shaky-cam style, years before "Most Haunted" XD. Some bits are quite chilling and there are 2 or 3 real scares. I have a video with horrible picture quality though.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

3

Fear Of The Dark

Not watched it yet

N/A

Garden Of Love

Members of a hippie commune are slashed, mutilated and skinned by sick killers, the daughter of one of them survives but her memory has wiped. She grows up but is haunted by ghosts of her real family, so travels back to the old house, where she meets the ghosts who tell her to bring the killers to them for revenge. Contains graphic mutilation, skinning, dismemberment and slaughter around every turn! Supposedly set in Britain, but it obviously isn't XD

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 3 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

4

Ghosthouse

Really stupid haunted house movie, standout scenes being the possessed camper van, and a guy falling through the floor into a giant pool of...milk?

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

2

Graduation Day

Post-Friday the 13th, Pre-Scream high school slasher, pretty generic

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 5 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

2

Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer

A killer gets out of jail after killing his mother for being a whore, he then goes across the country killing just about anybody he see's in various brutal ways. The start is just a montage of people he has killed. He hooks up with a redneck who later joins him in his spree of violence, they even start to film themselves doing it! Things are complicated when he starts to fall in love with the redneck's sister though, and hanging around with someone this insane can only end in one way…

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 2 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 0

5

Hollow Point

US Made-for-TV crime thriller, pretty cheesy, villain is obvious from the outset, woman's husband is an idiot

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

2

Hunting Humans

Brutal, Stylish, Cool. Lots of inspiration for Scum Slaughter was drawn from this. Under the skin its basically a slasher, but done in a new way, the ending comes too soon though, I was convinced my DVD player had skipped a chapter!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

5

I Spit On Your Grave

Ultra-violent rape-revenge movie, a true classic! This one is cut, by making the images go in slow motion at certain points, but keeping the sound effects, mostly during the rapes, the killings appear to be untouched. Coolest trailer ever.

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

5

Inseminoid

An alien presence on a far-off planet makes people turn into insane killers, not least the woman who is raped by a huge alien, she then goes on a killing spree with spear guns, chainsaws and grenades, it's a massacre! Then she gives birth to aliens, who carry on the brutality!

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

3

Intruder

A girl's creepy ex-boyfriend gets out of jail and shows up at the shop where she works, which is about to close down. He is chucked out, but as the night crew start marking down all the remaining products, they begin to disappear... One of the best and goriest 'slashers' of all time!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

4

Junk

A cool little Japanese zombie movie, some bungling thieves arrange to meet up with a Yakuza leader in an abandoned warehouse, but it isn't abandoned at all, in fact it is home to a secret US zombie research project! The yakuza double-cross the thieves, and it then becomes a brutal three-way battle, with an intelligent super-zombie lurking in the shadows!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 3 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 9

4

Land Of The Dead

Part 4 of the "dead trilogy", there's some decent action bits and blood and gore are there in abundance, certainly no less than Dawn anyway. But the storyline seems a bit strange (the zombies are becoming more intelligent). It's decent, but not a masterpiece. Certainly better than the modern Dawn Of The Dead re-make anyway!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 7

4

Lorna The Exorcist

The site I got this off played it up to be a French Exorcist rip-off, "Great" thought I, "More violence and sex for yer money", well there is virtually no violence, but TONS of sex! Yep, it's actually a porn movie!

Sex: 10 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

2

Maniacal

A bloke kills his mum, and tries to kill the rest of his family. He goes to jail, but then his dad lets him out, and surprise, surprise, he starts to massacre everybody in sight! Funny "Ad break" in the middle.

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

3

Meat Market

Monotonous talking guy with a cool classic car, Lesbian vampires with laser guns ("They fell of the back of a lorry innit, guv", is something they don't say), a wacky Mexican wrestler and some other characters with "Splatter me" tattooed on their heads survive in a zombie infested world. The battle scenes when the zombies take over are cool, and there's even a bit that shows the odd one or two zombies wandering around the city before the main attack begins

Sex: 7 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 3 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 9

4

Meat Market 2

Follows the survivors from meat market 2, who have idiotic 'gothy' names, but are played by people with names like Eric and Susan. They stumble across a camp trying to re-build society in the zombie infested world, run by a cruel dictator who is a cross between Hitler, David Brent and an 80's self-help video guy. There are some real cheesy moments, but then it doesn’t take itself seriously, fun to watch, but not as good as the first.

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 9

3

Mirror, Mirror

Carrie-on movie

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

2

Monster Man

An excellent blend of Gore, Sex, Classic cars and Satanism! two dumb teenagers are going on a trip to meet the sweetheart neither of them married. After one pisses off some hicks in a transport caff, a huge monster truck starts to chase them down! Later they meet a very sexy hitchhiker, but the psycho is continuing to torment and kill people all around them. Don’t miss it!

Sex: 4 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 0

5

Night Of The Living Dead

The original movie that featured zombies as we generally know them today, rather than voodoo-created slaves with magical powers. A bunch of people caught out in the middle of nowhere when the dead rise take refuge in an old house, but as night closes in, so to the dead... It may be old, but has lost none of its power!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 9

5

Nightmare City

Running, kung-fu fighting ass kicking zombies with attitude (and guns) take over a city in an orgy of mayhem and murder, they fight just as well as any commando, but still need to be shot in the head to put them down for good. They do rot very quickly, and the attack lasts less than a day before most of them have collapsed. You wont like the ending

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 6 | Zombies: 8

3

Nightmare In A Damaged Brain

A psycho killer gets let out of jail, and kills some people. Surprise Surprise. There may be a twist ending where it turns out someone else is the killer, but I cant remember

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

2

Night Stalker

Very generic US horror/crime thriller, lots of "industrial death metal" (noise and grunting) with sudden, eye-hurting flashes of satanic imagery and a pale flabby topless guy. Not very much gore either, there are a few bits with quite a scary atmosphere though, and the killer is suitably mad.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 8 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 0

2

Nikos The Impaler

Another Andreas Schnaas massacre, a Romanian barbarian is revived in modern day NY when blood gets spilled on his mask during a botched heist, he murders his way across the city in a wave of brutality. There are some stupid scenes though, like all the character development in the art gallery (they all die anyway!), and when Nikos resurrects Hitler through a video...

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 5 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 4 (just one XD)

3

Nowhere To Hide

A Korean version of The Sweeney!, a hard-boiled detective is determined to solve a savage gangland killing at all costs, even if that means some 'unusual' interrogation techniques XD. Has references to everything from Sin City (the comics, this was made in 1998) to Anime, and loads of brutal action and violence, ultra-cool!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 2 | Rock 'n Roll: 8 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

5

Oasis Of The Zombies

This one is not as violent as most zombie movies, the zombies are in fact more supernatural, and are caused by an ancient curse upon a certain oasis, which is where a battle took place in world war 2. The zombies are not able to walk around in the sunlight, but they can at night, to kill unwary campers! Most of the film, though, is wandering in the desert, or grainy flashbacks, for zombie completists (like me XD) only

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 6

2

Parasite

Some annoying cleaners go to clean up an oil rig with some 'experimental fluidÔ ', then an annoying woman arrives and shouts a bit, and some annoying Eco-warriors take them all hostage, then some really shoddy, unconvincing CGI worms attack them. This movie has an utter lack of suspense, fear, excitement or entertainment. And the worst news is these idiots own 2000ad, and will be making a new Dredd movie. Avoid.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

1

Prey

Surprisingly good, considering it was made in 10 days on a minimal budget, two lesbians share an idyllic countryside existence, until an alien werewolf attacks! Yeah you heard me! There's some odd dialogue and stupid reasons for things happening, but then you'd expect that considering the time it was made in. We want the sequel!

Sex: 8 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 0

4

Psychic Killer

Not quite as cool as it sounds, a bloke who was wrongly imprisoned uses TK to get back at the people who sent him there, by killing them in a horrific manner, including crashing their cars, or stabbing them with meat hooks! But it can get pretty corny at times

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 0

3

Queens Of Evil

Psychedelic 60's/early 70's hippie-horror. A bloke meets three beautiful women, who are really witches, or something, he meets their posh friends as well, as the weird occurrences mount up, like objects vanishing. The ending is very sinister, a secret coalition of authoritarian scumbags are out to destroy the sexual revolution!

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 0

3

Reign In Darkness

I'm terrible with accents, this was either made in New Zealand, or South Africa. Either way, a bloke becomes infected with a vampire serum which he believes is the cure for AIDS, then has to kill his way through a horde of Vampires, Slayers and general twats, to discover the truth! Some obvious inspirations from The Matrix, and a very stupid car chase.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 5 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

4

Resident Evil

A fairly general Hollywood horror, not very much gore, some dodgy CG, and some minor "ya! oh its you" jumpy bits that aren't really scary anyway. I never cared much for the games, though I did watch my brother play them to see the gory bits. This is only very loosely based on them, the name of the corporation, virus and city and the fact there are zombies is pretty much the only similarities.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 9

3

Resident Evil - Apocalypse

Not watched it yet

N/A

Rosemary's Baby

A very chilling tale of a woman who moves in next to an overly friendly elderly couple in a New York apartment building, she has a chilling dream of being raped by the devil, but wakes up with her husband. She becomes pregnant, and is at first happy, but later starts to suspect something is very very wrong. Possibly one of the greatest horror movies of all time

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 0

5

Satans Slave

A woman's parents are killed in a crappy car crash, she is taken in by her uncle, who seems nice enough, but what is behind all the mysterious, evil occurrences? A 70's satanic thriller that must have really been pushing the boundaries at the time!

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 10 | Zombies: 0

3

Scrapbook

I have a butchered version cut by nearly 20 minutes, apparently the full version "makes Cannibal Holocaust look like Mary Poppins", I gotta get me some of that! Rating for now based on the cut one I have (from cryptkeeper.co.uk, who USED to sell the uncut version, but where later stopped!)

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

4

Shadowchaser: The Gates Of Time

Terrible

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

1

Shaun Of The Dead

A brilliantly hilarious zombie movie parody, inspired by the original Dawn, though it came out mere weeks apart from the second one. Its horrifying and hilarious at the same time, and there are always extra visual gags/signs something isn't right going on in the background that you miss on the first watch, this is another essential purchase for all splat-fans!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 7 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 6 | Zombies: 9

5

Shogun Assassin

Take three lengthy Japanese samurai movies, put all the violent bits together, and you get this! Made famous by Kill Bill 2, which must have made Vipco a tidy profit, this features a masterless samurai crossing Japan to get revenge for his dead wife, anybody gets in his way, they get chopped in half!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

5

Sin City

A Film-noir style, action packed festival of ultra-violence, beautiful women, classic cars and total chaos! Unmissable!

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 6 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 10 | Zombies: 0

5

Snowbeast

This is NOT worthy of an 18 rating! Vipco probably just asked the BBFC to give it that to sell more...It's really a kid's movie!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 0 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

1

Spiders

A guy who did the special effects on numerous Hollywood blockbusters got paid loads of money for it, so made his own effects-over-storyline epic, the CG alternates between amazing Godzilla-like and crappy power rangers-like. Lots of gore, but most of its green. Also there's some very detailed model spiders too, its not all computers.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

3

Spiders 2

Not watched it yet

N/A

Story Of Ricky

Insanely violent story of the hardest man in the world™ being locked up in jail, which is run by corrupt wardens and drug dealers, he takes them all on in some amazing, and gory, fight scenes which leave gore and destruction everywhere! There's some laughs too, like the head warden's son, and the fact the cells are never locked XD

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 3 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 8 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

5

Strange Things Happen At Sundown

Too bloody long, but has many cool things, like vampire mobsters, a cool slayer who is also a vampire, the grim reaper, who kicks ass, and the grim reapers wife, who is worse! As well as a sexy vampire Goth and his idiotic friends, many many sexy women, and a ton of quotable lines!

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 7 | Rock 'n Roll: 5 | Gore: 8 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 4

4

Sugar Hill

Profoundly silly mixture of seventies blaxploitation and old-fashion voodoo zombie vengeance! but it’s a 15 so there ain't much gore, but its pretty entertaining all the same. The main character is beautiful and has a different outfit for every shot it seems XD

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 6

3

Suspiria

Haunting and beautiful tale of witchcraft in a mysterious dance academy in Germany, the sets are wonderfully built and colourful, and for much of the movie eerie red and green light illuminates the scene. Add to this a genuinely chilling atmosphere and some very shocking, brutal killings (and a funny one too), and it adds up to a horror classic

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

5

Terror

A witch who was burned at the stake 300 years ago comes back in the 70's to kill off members of the family who killed her, and anyone else who comes into contact with them, by possessing one of their friends. Contains lots of cool deaths including slicing by glass, impaling and being run over by a possessed Rover XD

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 9 | Zombies: 0

3

The Attendant

Very over-acted, its pretty boring for 90% of its run-time, just people chatting and driving, in fact its very "Scooby doo", when they get to their campsite it gets better, some brief scenes of tits, then the murders start! Cryptic ending, which contradicts the opening storyline XD. Keep watching through the Credits

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

2

The Beast In The Cellar

Soldiers are being murdered on the remote moorlands, by some unknown but savage creature, while a pair of lovely old ladies go about their business...surely the two couldn't be connected? A lot of the murders take place in extreme close up, with not a lot of blood, and there are some slow moments. The end contains a few unexpected twists.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 0

3

The Big Racket

A hard-boiled detective is trying to get to the bottom of a protection racket, but every time he arrests the small fry, street thugs employed to vandalise shops that don't pay, their lawyers get them off. After the brutal rape of the daughter of shop owner who helps him, he becomes determined to take on the bad guys at their own game, taking matters into his own hands, he recruits some psychopathic help and ends up at the head of a bloody slaughter.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 5 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 0

4

The Body Stealers

Aliens are abducting parachutists, so the army bring in a guy who sounds a bit like Roger Moore to figure out what to do, but are there alien agents working amongst the humans? (Well, obviously... durr!). This is PG rated, so don't expect too much violence!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 0 | Classic Cars: 9 | Zombies: 0

3

The Brain

Silly Canadian movie, a giant malevolent alien brain starts controlling people by psychic powers, to make them come after this teenager, and they frame him for several murders, including one where it was blatantly obvious the real killer had done it, but the cops ignored him. The brain gets freakier with every moment, eventually flying around by itself and devouring people.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

2

The Burning Moon

A drug addict has a pretty bad day, getting into a gang war and losing his job. He goes home, shoots up, and begins to tell his sister some sick and twisted bedtime stories! The first is about a psycho killer who escapes prison, the second is about Satan worship and evil undoing in a small village, this also includes a lengthy scene in hell, which is one of the sickest things ever recorded!

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 6 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 10 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 4

4

The Descent

Creep turned up to 11! There are more characters to be killed, and more monsters to be fought back against. A much more frightening setting, with a very chilling atmosphere (An unknown cave complex in the northern USA), loads of gore and some real scares. Unfortunately I had a headache when I saw it, so missed a lot of the scares, need to watch it again.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

5

The Devils Fetus

The site I bought this off implied it was a very nasty gore movie, with a woman being raped by a slime-covered zombie while her guests eat worm-infested cake. Well there certainly is slime-covered zombie sex and worm infested cake, but the gore is nothing special, and the plot is a bit inconsistent, but then again that might be cause the badly-translated subtitles don't always fit on the screen XD. I think the satanic occurrences are somehow linked to a vase though, and a memorial to somebody's ancestors being accidentally defaced.

Sex: 4 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

3

The Devils Rejects

A family of psychos who have been tormenting and killing people in the area around their house for years are caught, and after a brutal shootout have to go on the run. But that doesn't stop them taking hostages for a bit of torture and humiliation. Meanwhile a detective closes in, intent on brutal revenge for the death of his brother, the violence is non-stop and the blood flows in buckets!

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 7 | Rock 'n Roll: 8 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 10 | Zombies: 1

5

The Fanatic

This guy who is obsessed with a horror movie star (her latest one being a slasher called Scream...hmm!) goes to Cannes to propose making a movie with her, meanwhile a lot of her friends start to be murdered around her, and he is the prime suspect! In the end it all turns out ok, of course, he even makes a movie with her...kind of XD.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 0

3

The Haunted House Of Horror

An "I know what you did last summer" style slasher, so what you say, it was made in 1968! Apparently the original script was much more violent and dark and evil, but Hollywood got brought on board and fucked it up, still a decent whodunnit (or whatdunnit) though...

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 6 | Gore: 2 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 0

3

The Hollow

A direct-to-video sequel to "Sleepy Hollow", which I remember as being bloody good. Its set in modern times, 2/3rds of it look like they where shot with a Sony Handycam, the "headless horseman" has a head, and the scary bits, while they make you jump, are lame. There is a cool classic car in it though, and three nice gore scenes.

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 0

2

The House On The Edge Of The Park

Apparently a splatter classic crammed with rape, murder and brutality. It isn't!

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 3 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 0

2

The Last Bet

Crap

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

1

The Lighthouse

Tense slasher about a psychotic machete murderer who escapes from a prison ship, he rows to a small island with a lighthouse and de-activates the light, so the ship crashes into it. Then he hunts down the survivors one by one. Seemingly set in the 50's, but some things seem to contradict this (did they have aerosol air fresheners then?)

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

3

The Locals

Not watched it yet

N/A

The Sex Tapes Scandal

Looks like porn from the cover. It isn't! Generic US made-for-TV crime thriller

Sex: 3 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 0

2

The Stink Of Flesh

Wavers between OK and utter shit, a bloke who is a total fucking cunt (but supposedly cool) is 'kidnapped' by some swingers who have built a fortress in a zombie infested world. Once he is there it becomes a zombie soap opera, complete with a woman with a conjoined foetus, which has been zombified! and some soldiers. There are some decent action and sex sequences, but some crappy bits as well. A mixed bag, try it out and see what you think.

Sex: 6 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 6 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 7

3

The Zombie Dead

Total SHIT! Not even Zombie completists should bother with this, Zombie 90 is better, at least that is funny!

Sex: 4 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 10

1

Tiresia

A transsexual is kidnapped by a nutter, she begins to revert to male form through lack of hormones so he gouges her eyes out and dumps her in the countryside, where she is taken in by some villagers and becomes revered as some sort of 'oracle'. But is relentlessly bullied by the local Priest. Some scenes are needlessly long and it gets boring. But it's okay overall.

Sex: 9 | Drugs: 1 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

3

Turkey Shoot

A police state in the far-flung future year of 1995 imprisons some "dissidents", who are taken to a brutal prison camp. After some fun scenes of torture and execution the main characters are released as part of a violent game where the head warden's distinguished guests get to hunt them down and murder them, but they fight back! Very gory action scenes, especially the final battle.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

5

Undead

Pretty funny tale of zombies and aliens, a meteor shower begins turning residents of a small Australian town into rambling brain-eaters, but the survivors find that the area is sealed off by a gigantic spiked metal wall. And their strange "Zombie slayer" companion isn't letting on everything he knows at first... Contains a very cool gun!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 9

4

Underworld

Vampires and "Lycans" (werewolves) have been involved in a battle for centuries, meanwhile one of the werewolves is attempting to make a crossbreed of the two species (in a not sexy way), and the vampires want to stop him. But then one of them falls for the guy chosen to become the double. Lots of shooting, action and an XJ6 Series 2

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 5 | Gore: 3 | Classic Cars: 5 | Zombies: 0

4

Underworld Evolution

Better than the first one, but you'll need to have seen the first one almost immediately before this one to understand it. The vampire/werewolf crossbreed and his vampire girlfriend escape across "Europe somewhere", pursued by a vampire elder who has also became a crossbreed, Who wants to unlock the king of the werewolves. The first one was like "The Matrix but horror" but this one departs from that and finds its own way, and its brilliant!

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 2 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 0

5

Vampire Killer Barby's

Some rock band with incredibly annoying songs gets stranded when the wheel of their van gets stuck in a tiny hole in the road. Do they reverse out, seeing as their van is probably rear wheel drive? Or do they accept a weirdo's offer to stay in an imposing hotel, sorry, castle, and be picked off one by one by a vampire who needs their blood to stay young? Even the sex scenes become annoying in this torturous journey into bad writing.

Sex: 7 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 10 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 0

1

Violent Professionals

This is basically Driver: The Movie, a detective who is determined to bring down a gang who have a big job planned goes undercover, as their getaway driver. His violent approach earns him no favours from his superiors though, and he has to go up against the mob alone. Contains some excellent car chases and brutal shootouts, it makes "Dirty Harry" look like a cartoon!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 2 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 10 | Zombies: 0

4

Violent Shit 3

This is about a death cult on an island, led by two ultimate psycho killers (from Violent Shit 1 and 2), who slaughter anybody who crosses them in very disgusting ways. Some innocent people get caught up in this, and fight back! Then some ninja's show up as well, and a very violent and very gory battle scene takes place. Terrible dubbing (seemingly done by a single person), but a must-see anyway! The plot was nicked from "Turkey shoot", which has less gore but is filmed better.

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 6 | Gore: 10 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 4

4

Virgin Witch

A pretty weird one, a woman signs up to work as a model, she goes to a country house (which was also seen in Terror XD) and gets photos taken of her, and loses her clothes a lot. She then joins a witches coven... after that it gets pretty inconsistent and confusing XD. No gore whatsoever, but every woman in this gets naked at some point or other XD

Sex: 8 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 0 | Classic Cars: 9 | Zombies: 0

2

Whisper Kill

Yawn-inducingly predictable "thriller". Just watch a repeat of "A touch of frost" instead. You know, that one you've seen 30 times already, where the two night watchmen go out robbing houses, but one of them is a killer.

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 1 | Classic Cars: 4 | Zombies: 0

1

Wild Zero

A "Rock 'n roll jet-movie", according to the cover, that about sums it up XD. Aliens attack earth, creating zombies which attack various people, including a guy who has inadvertently fallen in love with a transvestite. But lucky for them he has a magic whistle, which he can use to call upon the superhero rock band, Guitar Wolf! It's as silly as it sounds!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 7 | Rock 'n Roll: 10 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 4

4

Witchfinder General

Based very loosely on a story of the real witchfinder general, which may not actually be true XD. An evil lawyer out to make a profit while telling people he is doing "Gods work" takes advantage of the chaos of the civil war to rape and murder young women. Until a soldier who is in love with the daughter of one of his victims vows to bring him down!

Sex: 4 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 0

5

Wolf Creek

Not watched it yet

N/A

Zombie 90

One of the funniest things you will ever see! The combination of the MST3K-esque dubbing (probably intentional), and the terrible effects (probably unintentional), and the hilarious bad taste (check out the baby being ripped in two!) make this an essential purchase! You'll be quoting lines from this for ages! "Spezial forcezz?"

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 3 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 9

4

Zombie Chronicles

Total, inconsistent and idiotic wank, a woman is told stupid stories about zombies by an idiot, in the stories idiots are attacked by stupid zombies in stupid ways and its really stupid. SEE people in "the 70's" driving a brand-new Kia sportage, SEE a 17-year old Goth pretending to be the ghost of a small girl from western times, WONDER why you paid £13.99 for this junk!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 1 | Gore: 4 | Classic Cars: 1 | Zombies: 6

1

Zombie Creeping Flesh

A non-stop orgy of zombie battling adventure, though jungles, ghost towns and eventually a huge industrial facility. Complete with stolen music from Dawn of the dead and stupid stereotyped characters just begging to get munched. The bit in the "native village", filled with stock footage, is boring though.

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 9

3

Zombie Cult Massacre

Starts off pretty stupid, idiotic scenes set in "hell", which looks worse than the crappy CG they used in Knightmare, then some people end up at a cultist's compound. Which is under siege from zombies, some sex happens and then some bikers decide to kill the cultists, and a gigantic 3-way battle ensues! But it ain't that great.

Sex: 6 | Drugs: 5 | Rock 'n Roll: 5 | Gore: 7 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 9

2

Zombie Flesh Eaters

An unofficial "sequel" to Dawn Of The Dead, actually its more like a prequel, this also ensured Lucio Fulci was forever remembered for making Zombie films, when actually he mostly made Slashers. This is a very cool and gory splatter movie that has earned true classic status!

Sex: 2 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 2 | Zombies: 10

4

Zombie Flesh Eaters 2

Hilarious! It was passed between 2 directors, who had wildly different ideas of what they wanted it to be. So they just went their own ways, it can hardly maintain continuity between frames, and features some hilarious scenes, like "I'm thirsty...for your blood!" and the zombie head in the fridge that springs itself out at somebody's face!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 7 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 8 | Zombies: 7

3

Zombie Flesh Eaters 3

Boring and stupid!

Sex: 0 | Drugs: 3 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 6 | Classic Cars: 0 | Zombies: 10

1

Zombie Holocaust

After incidents of cannibalism and corpse mutilation across New York, an expedition is sent out to discover the whereabouts of an ancient tribe whose symbol is seen around the gruesome incidents. Of course the tribe still exists, and they are cannibals. Plus they are in the pay of a mad scientist who is creating zombies, you can imagine the rest!

Sex: 1 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 0 | Gore: 9 | Classic Cars: 7 | Zombies: 2

3

Zombie Nosh

Cheaply made, but fairly decent, shows a zombie attack spreading out in a rural community, as the authorities struggle to cope the zombie attack spreads. Predictable ending.

Sex: 5 | Drugs: 0 | Rock 'n Roll: 4 | Gore: 5 | Classic Cars: 3 | Zombies: 9

3

Total owned by me: 118

Rating

Description

0

Total and utter crap, don't even bother with it XD. So far only one movie has managed to get this rating. Though if I didn't already know about "Manos" and I ended up with that somehow it would probably end up with that rating too XD

1

Fairly crap and unenjoyable, avoid these ones at all costs!

2

Quite crappy, but may have a few redeeming features, like attractive naked people, cool cars or one good gore scene. Only get it if you find it for a really cheap price and like the genre

3

Ok ones that are at least watchable and entertaining, This rating is actually quite broad... check out the review and get it if it sounds like your kind of thing

4

Ones that are above average or break out of their budgetary restrictions (when applied to low budget ones anyway, which is most of the stuff reviewed here) to deliver something decently entertaining. Obviously still wont appeal to everyone, but if you like the same stuff that I do, you should enjoy this.

5

Instant classic, an essential one for all serious horror fans!