The chosen ones theme music plays,then the view changes to the living room of their house
the people-celes,locke,edgar and vincent are all sitting round the telly
Edgar: boring,boring-honestley,i dont know why we watch this...
An atom bomb falls through the ceiling and lands in front of the fridge
Vincent: yeah,theres nothing on...
Edgar: what?-this one is closing down already!-its only 9 o clock!
Celes: thats vtv2
Edgar: well! they cant tell me when to go to bed-rufus's fachists cant touch me here
a shinra gaurd appears on the screen
Gaurd: Go to bed spotty
Edgar is in shock
Edgar: what?-hmm,vincent make the dinner!
Vincent: what? why is it always me?
Celes: we arranged that you should do it
Vincent: yeah,but you dont do anything
Celes: look,my responsiblites are feed the goldfish and water the plants
Vincent: And what did we have for dinner on the first day?
Celes: sausages and plants and goldfish-look,ive discharged my responsibilites,now you discharge yours
Edgar: That sounds like the cue for a dirty joke!
Locke: shut up edgar-ive gotta go see harry the bastard soon
Celes: who's that-a gangster?
Locke: no-he works at blockbuster
Celes: same thing
Edgar: well,im off
Celes: whats he doing?
Vincent: err,who wants ketchup on thier cornflakes?
Vincent: yeah,i cant get to the milk
Celes: why?are you a total spazmo
Vincent: No,theres an atom bomb in front of the fridge
Celes: well,better do something
also goes upstairs
View of bathroom door-edgar walks out
Edgar: that sounded like celes...
Goes over to his bedroom door
Edgar: celes,i know your in my room preparing some amazingly mature joke,so anything that happens to me in the next few minutes is not funny!
Jumps into his room,suprised to find celes isnt in there,but doesnt notice her walk past the door
Edgar: hah!-scared are we
Realises he is alone-then pulls out a dirty magazine and jumps on the bed,causing a big circular saw to come out of the wall-that he only just dodges
Vincent(now outside): What was that?
Celes and locke are setting up a video machine
Locke: right,that was quick-now (reads manual) 'insert video and press play-happy viewing'
Celes: they wouldnt say that if we knew what video weve got!
Locke puts it in,the screen displays static
Celes: well,i dont call this a new era in televisual entertainment!
Upstairs,edgar is nailing up celes's bedroom
Edgar: that'll teach you matey!
Celes: Whats that banging sound?
Locke: edgar doing some reading
edgar comes down,doesnt see celes
Edgar: hey,locke-i just nailed celes in her bedroom!
Celes stands up
Celes: ahh,its broken
Edgar: Celes!-why arent you in your room?
Celes: were not going to bed tonight
Edgar: honestly,i go to all the trouble of nailing up your room and your not even in there!-i demand you go upstairs and nail yourself in! and the-what do you mean your not going to bed tonight?
Celes: Locke and i are going to engage in an all-night orgy of sex and violence
Edgar: what?in the living room?
Locke(reading box): Yeah,first were having 'sex with the headless corpse of the virgin astronaut'
Edgar: well,wont the floor get all messy?
Celes: its a video nasty!
Edgar: oo,have we got a video?
Celes: YES WE HAVE GOT A BLOODY VIDEO!!!!!!
Edgar: Well,anyway,lets watch some porn already
Celes: It doesnt seem to be working
Edgar(picking up manual): Thats because your following the instructions for a toaster!
Vincent comes in
Vincent: Guys,i just like saw this amazing thing...
Celes: awnswer the phone
Vincent picks it up
Vincent: I'll just check-hey do we know anyone called celes cherie?
Vincent: no,we dont
Edgar: now,lets watch some videos!
Vincent: have we got a video?
celes: IF ANYONE ASKS THAT AGAIN I'M GONNA SMASH THIER HEAD THROUGH THE WINDOW!
Vincent: well,have we?
Celes rips out a window frame from the wall,and drops it on vincent
Vincent: oh wow-can i have a go on it-please???
Celes: Ok,but remember-that machine now works perfectly-and if you press the button and it dosnt work,its your fault!
Vincent: Well,its not plugged in...
plugs it in,and gets shocked,but the video starts playing
Text on tv screen: This a afishal vidio,not a pirat wun nomatter what ne one sayz
Vincent goes flying back,causing the picture to go out
Celes: SOD THIS!
chucks the machine out of the window
Edgar: lets watch telly
they start watching something that looks like 'eastenders'-except its called 'racist bastards get ino fights and tell the population to attack all those who are different from the charcters in this show in any way'
Edgar: What a load of crap-i dont know why we pay for the tv lincence!
Celes: we dont
Edgar: But...then...that makes me a criminal-this will show them at the returners-stealing magitek armours-hah!,im a desparado,the real thing,an outlaw...
Celes: SHADDUP OR I'LL KILL YOU!
Knock on the door
Vincent: Ill get it
Vincent opens the door
Man: hello sir,have you got a telly
Locke: OH SHIT!-the tv license man!
Edgar: What are we gonna do?????
Locke: You-shut up,celes-eat the telly
Celes: Ive always wanted to do this
Starts to eat the telly
Locke goes over next to vincent
Locke: You havent introduced me to your new pal
Man: Bastards the name,but you can call me right bleeding-all my friends do,well did...
Locke: What do you mean?
Bastard: I killed him,wheres your lincence?
Looks at the now fat celes,with the tv wire coming out of her mouth
Bastard: Yoooou little runt!-the old trick ay?-eat the telly before i get a chance to nick yer!
Celes: Its a toaster
Bastard: My mistake
Locke: Celes,the tv
Celes has spat out the tv and put it back together
Edgar: turn it on
The screen shows a dot-and it goes bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....-vincent starts dancing
Vincent: Yeah!!!-better than mainstream pop music anyday!
Locke: Well,we better go to bed...
Vincent: Aww,i was just getting into that!
Edgar: oh,all right!
Celes: no,im gonna watch the dot
Vincent: Wish we had a video,then i could tape it
Edgar: We did,celes through it out the window and killed my cat
Celes: That was a good joke!
They all go upstairs,except for celes
TV: and dont forget to unplug your set
TV: Cause it'll explode you stupid girl
Celes: COOL!...aww,its not gonna explode-think i'll play 'murder in the dark'
Picks up an axe and turns the light off-then trips over and sets the atom bomb off