..You know..INTO it!

Thats latin for 'Resist all change'


A "return to good, old fashioned policing" promised as local people take action against crime in the area

By crime correspondent Rodger bacon

It was announced today by the Cambridgeshire police commissioner that the Fenland area (including the fens in norfolk) will get their own community police force, the Fenland Vigilantie Justice Group. Their new head of operations, John huntingdon, is promising "we will return to good, old fashioned policing-and yes we will be bringing back the death penalty". The expected privatisation of police forces towards the end of this decade (well theyre doing it to everything else!) will mean that the FVJG will be able to make up their own laws "Some of the old 'outdated' laws need to be brought back to stop society descending into chaos" the commissioner explained, "For instance, burning people at the stake for witchcraft was a fenland tradition for centuries, and the public hanging of people who have sex outside of wedlock is a great way to bring together local people, so we will be brining back these practices for the 21st century". Mr Huntingdon was full of condemnation for the modern police force which is currently still operating in the fens "They turn an absolute blind eye to crime" he said "You get these old women dressed in black walking about freely, foreigners can go around being foreign and gays are able to perform whatever disgusting things they get up to in full view of the privacy of their own bedrooms, yet when we tell the police about it they seem disinterested and laugh at us". Some critics of the plan have called this new force "Barbaric" and "Like mob rule", but theyre probably criminals anyway so they'll all be hanged by the end of the decade.

John huntingdon on his first day in the regular police force (1896)

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