..You know..INTO it!

Thats latin for 'Resist all change'


24,000 Soldiers finally got to get on with thier proud and patriotic duty of destroying a foriegn country somewhere to the east (we dont have any maps that where produced after 1675 in the office), Including two from Felney

By our war correspondant Lüt Andrun (Hm, he's foriegn sounding, keep and eye on him-ED)

Paul banker and Joe bastard are both young soldiers from Felney who are currently in kuwait awaitng the go ahead to get stuck in and shoot some funnily-dressed men, as are thier thousands of comrades of the british and american military, some of whom are riding upon new fangled mechanical birds which can drop fire on the evil heathen from above. "We are just waiting to get stuck in and shoot some funnily dressed men" said Paul, while Joe added "I wish i could fly one of those new fangled mechanical birds and rain fire on the enemy from above". This war is of course because of Saddam hussein, an evil dictator who once used chemical weapons to kill outsiders living in his country..no wait that cant be right, thats what we want the british government to do...ah yes he is running an evil dictatorship where people are forced to follow his religion and freedom of speech is banned..no that was march 18th's editorial.., oh well ive managed to cram as much as i can in..i can just increase the font size on the headline and stick in a picture of the guy were fighting against.. Just look at whats on our other pages

Monster-This man has done something wrong, when we remember what it is we'll write about it, so keep buying the herald!

Parent's emotional plea to missing girl-"Come home, we want to dump you in a childrens home again"-Page 2

Greenpeace break into sizewell power station, "shoot the lot" Herald says-Page 4

Huntingdon life sciences to be extended-Page 6

Several people go missing from Oakington barracks-Page 7

What is in those mysterious refrigerated trucks seen round Oakington barracks and Huntingdon life sciences?-Page 8

Adverts for christian right-wing pressure groups and cheap sludge in barrels-Page 9-94