A gay guy who is on drugs because gays are, of course, the miserable, wretched, crime-ridden "other" takes too many, goes crazy and rapes a lesbian. BUT he has that weird genetic condition you only have a chance in a trillion of getting where the male gets pregnant. He is giving birth (it isn't nice believe me) and it's so painful he takes an overdose and dies. But the baby is born anyway and adopted by a Muslim family. Who are converting to Christianity
Meanwhile the lesbian tells her parents she was raped by a gay guy (she isn't out) and they decide to kill all the gays in the world. However as he's already dead they decide to kill the first "target" they see, which is the Muslims, as the family are in the BNP. BUT as they reach the Muslim's house they convert to Christianity and get that disease that makes coloured people turn white at the same time. This makes the BNP lot think that god turns the righteous white, so they leave the ex-Muslim family alone.
Meanwhile said family have very very converted to Christianity and become fundamentalists and try to convert other people to Christianity, but are surprised when the people they convert don't turn white. Meanwhile the family of the lesbian find out she is a lesbian and are going to kill her BUT she is also on drugs so they think if they get her off the drugs she will turn straight. BUT she is in the tanning salon for too long and then is murdered by her own parents who think she has converted to Islam. While on drugs.
Meanwhile the now white, now Christian fundamentalist family decide to fight against drugs and blow up the tanning salon as it must have converted the girl to Islam by giving her drugs. BUT the Muslim family's relatives turn up at that point and threaten to kill them for aposta, appos, er, that thing. BUT at that point the kids in the school have a race riot and the police are called and beat up the Muslim relatives for being "a bit brown".
Meanwhile the dead lesbian is now still alive for no adequately explained reason and commits suicide. While on drugs. There's also no credit music on that episode BUT after complaints from watchdog the repeat has benny hill music and the credits are played too fast.
Meanwhile one of the teachers is on drugs, and spends too long in the now rebuilt tanning salon and faces racist abuse from his entire class. This makes him want to commit suicide but he doesn’t want to turn out like the lesbian so converts to, er, um, Satanism. While on drugs.
Meanwhile It's getting near Christmas so the Christian family decide to invite the other family over for a fundamentalist party. Meanwhile it turns out that the gay guy who raped the lesbian who had the baby that the then-Muslim family adopted was the then-Muslim family's long-lost son. Meanwhile the two dads in the families find some drugs and take them by accident and end up having gay sex. BUT nobody mentions it because they where on drugs. They suspect the teacher that's on drugs of planting them, so they murder him.
He DID plant them BUT it they were meant to be found by somebody else and he got the wrong house due to being on drugs, so the drug addict who lives next door goes insane and sets the petrol station on fire and it explodes. BUT the explosion blows out the grave where the murdered teacher is buried and the dad of the christian fundamentalist family goes to prison. BUT he converts to Islam again and becomes a terrorist and escapes to Afghanistan to join the Taliban. BUT it's the Afghanistan in Sussex so he ends up joining the WI by mistake. While in drag. And on drugs.
Meanwhile his wife joins the Westboro Baptist Church as her adopted baby was concieved by gays. And is HIV positive, it turns out. BUT she joins the World Bread Coalition by mistake and ends up protesting against toast. BUT it's drug toast so she gets a community spirit award from the police for taking a stand.
Meanwhile the nerdy kid in the school discovers a cure for HIV BUT it's drug HIV and not sex HIV so it can't cure the baby. He makes millions and lives in the poshest house in the area. BUT it's still a crime-ridden hellhole so he gets murdered by burglars on drugs. While on drugs. Then it turns out the burglars where actually assassins paid off by the woman who wanted her kid to be cured of HIV but the nerdy kid had dared to not discover the cure for the kind her son had. Also she wants to give him Herceptin because she read in the paper it was a miracle cure. But the journalist that wrote it was on drugs.
Meanwhile the journalist gets a huge payout from Prince Charles for a little bit of brake fluid draining he did in 1997 and moves to Grange Hill, becomes a teacher and lives in the poshest house in the area. BUT he gets murdered by the burglars who where on drugs the first time they broke in and had forgotten they had done it. BUT they are interrupted by a taxi driver who has AIDS and everybody in the world gets arrested. And addicted to drugs while in prison.