GTA: Staunton Island

The Essentials

Different Cars

There are several different-looking cars, however the game was so annoying I didn't even try and drive different types, only a slow taxi. There was dodge viper lookalikes around too, they might be faster but I didn't try them, so one star it gets.

Traffic on the streets




Only a few, they all look the same, and remain solid when they are killed. They can die "over" you and make it impossible to move. Next!


You become "wanted" for the tiniest little murder. Blue guys with pistols appear around the city and shoot at you


I tried a pistol and saw an icon for a machine gun. The pistol appeared to have unlimited ammo.


I didn't get that far, I don't believe there is any.


Rockin' good explosions

I didn't play it long enough to find out.


The Review

GTA Staunton island gets off to a good start by hitting you with an error message as soon as you open it. Wanting to play you click on "ignore" and are then dismayed by the size of the game window. Yes those screenshots below are actual size! I couldn't see an option to run it on full screen either, even if such a thing would be akin to running a mobile phone game on an HD TV.

Once you start the game properly it

Then gives you text messages at two

Lines at a time in tiny amounts of

Text that go on for too long and get

Really annoying especially as you

Have forgotten that Z and not, say,

Enter is the button to scroll the


Incidentally when you blunder into buyable houses, shops and information "letters" in the game you are bombarded with the same slowly-scrolling text messages again. You can also accidentally press the wrong button after reading the message and blunder into the source of them again and again. It's hard to believe this game was playtested at all.

Speaking of blundering into things, it's about time I mentioned the poorly set-up sprites. All sprites have to have a point that they rotate around. In a GTA-like game this should be on the centre of things most of the time. Here it is some way behind the actual sprite, that means when you press the buttons for left or right on foot, your character actually glides sideways in a circle rather than spins around on the spot. See how easy it would be to blunder into text message triggers? It makes shoot-outs with the cops extremely frustrating too.

Once you get into a car (By pressing M, obviously, not anything sensible like Enter – that's pause. There's no "back to game" option on the pause menu either, press Escape? No that doesn't work, it's actually Backspace, obviously!) you find that the same problem applies, cars don't steer but rather glide around as if they are on the end of a pole. It's also possible to drive and walk out of the map entirely. Oh and also all the vehicle graphics seem to be stolen from GTA Advance, but that manages to be the least of this game's problems.

You then press M to get out of the car again, hmm, looks like another guessing game! Ah, it's N to get out of cars. Assuming you have managed to get out of the car OK and not get stuck in it, or in the scenery, or get out on a text message trigger, you might want to get yourself a piece. Guns can largely be found laying around, so pick up one and then try and shoot it. Clearly the shoot button is Ctrl Shift J! You might even succeed in hitting somebody and bringing the cops down on your back. The cops shooting at you is indicated by a long sound effect of a silenced pistol shooting and a casing clinking to the floor, even if they are not on the screen. Oddly one cop near the middle of the map always manages to be killed even if you haven't done anything, others get stuck on the corners of the tiny buildings.

Even when you have defeated the cops the dead bodies remain solid, so you can't just walk over them. Strangely a police shield icon is right outside the police station, this functions like the police bribe in GTA and makes your wanted level disappear, meaning the police station is the first place you should head to when you are wanted, sensible eh?

In all, this game has some promising and cool features, and looks good to a degree. It just needs the sprite rotations fixing, proper and workable controls and better menus, then it could actually become half-decent. As it stands, though, it's not worth your time.

The introduction to GTA Staunton Island, there's been better.

Here I am standing still, lets press A to turn left…

Now I'm over here! I only pressed A!

The.annoying 2-lines at a time text system

Now I'm stuck in the scenery, great.

The map of the island when you pause. It looks nothing at all like the actual map in the game.

Further Information

Download link

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