Q&A

Important questions that you will probably have, answered!

Did you make these games?

Admittedly one so stupid nobody sane could ask it, but never underestimate how thick a typical GTA player is. NO I did not make them, that's why I'm reviewing them. I do intend to make my own GTA fan games one day, but I won't be reviewing those because they will be my own. They will be linked from the database though.

I have a GTA fan game that is not in the database, can you review it?

Of course, I want to collect all of them on here! Just send me a download link. Be aware my reviews will be honest, though – if you've thrown something together in 5 minutes just to get a link you'll hear about it! …though you will still get a link o_O

I have a GTA fan game that you could review, it's $12 to regis-

Go away, free games only. Also you can't go selling other people's work as your own – like those car graphics you ripped from gtazz.com, for instance.

I have a GTA fan game that is in development, it's gonna be amazing! Please put it in the database?

No. You probably won't finish it anyway.

Here's my game, it's not strictly GTA like but a platformer / FPS…

It doesn't belong here, crime-themed games are not GTA games automatically.

Here's my mod for a GTA game…

Mods are not reviewed here, unless they significantly (and I mean SIGNIFICANTLY) change the original game. A couple more cars and a different road texture is not significant.

Here's my mod for a non-GTA game that turns it into GTA…

These sort of mods ARE reviewed here! Give me a link! But I might not have the game it's a mod for, I can still link to it though.

Where's the review of Mafia / Scarface etc?

Commercially-released games are not reviewed here, because game magazines and websites will have already done them. Go there.

Why did you insult my game so badly?

It's shit, do better.

I've got (unprovable and probably made-up mental disorder goes here) so that's why my game was bad! It's not my fault.

Autism / ADD / Asperger's / delete as appropriate is not a get out of jail free card. Your game was bad because it was bad.

I didn't ask you to review my game, why did you put it up on here and insult it?

You put it into a public area (the internet), I downloaded it and now am airing my thoughts on it. If you don't like it you shouldn't have put it online.

I'm going to sue you!!

No, you aren't. Go away.

Why have you put up a download of my game?

It's the latest version I have. Give me a link to your latest version and I'll review that and post an updated link.

My latest version isn't released yet! But the old version is crappy, please take it down?

No. It's no use reviewing these games if people can't play them. Also as people who never have anything downloadable online for long because it needs "a few more tweaks" (that take 2 years) tend to be perfectionists, the download offered is probably not as bad as you think.

Aagh! I said do not distribute my game and you put up a download of it!

Oops, I must have missed the "do not distribute" section of the readme text file that came with your game, kindly point it out to me and the download will be removed.

Well… I didn't actually include the text file in the download, here it is…

Too late! It's clearly a text file you have made up just now and emailed to me. The download stays.

It said on the website you downloaded the game from to not distribute it!

How am I supposed to remember that? Give me a link to the website and I'll check it out in the archive.org wayback machine. If It said "do not distribute" at a suitably distant date (and isn't just a page you have made up 5 minutes ago) then the download will be removed.

My website isn't archived on the wayback machine! I made that text file to prevent it being preserved!

Then you obviously have something to hide and/or are just a twat who overreacts to trivial shit, like a library in America having a copy of your old website. The download stays. And might even be bumped up higher in the list so more people can download it.

Ha ha you said you can't run a game that I can run, your computer must suck you FAG!!!!!11

Yes, it does.

How do I make my own GTA fangames?

Googling might help. There's masses of game-making software out there. It depends on how well you can program. If you can't program at all your best bet is Multimedia Fusion 2 or Game Maker, there are others but those two have large communities so it's easy to get help and ideas. If you know some programming you could try either Dark Basic or Jamagic which are based on Basic and Java respectively. If you know C++ or whatever programming then why are you coming to me? The world is your oyster, just google "free game engine" and there's loads to choose from.

Why is there not a Download link / review of a certain game?

I either haven't made it yet, or can't find it – but I do know it exists. If you have the files then please email them to me. Alternatively if you are the creator of said game and it's been lost to time, email me and I'll note that down.

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